Sir James Bond‘s (DAVID NIVEN) illegitimate daughter, portrayed by sexy Joanna Pettet in the 1967 spoof Casino Royale. The product of 007 ‘s World War I love affair with German spy Mata Hari, Mata Bond was born shortly before her mother’s execution. Deposited in an orphanage at the age of three, she’s been living in India where her title is Celestial Virgin of the Sacred Altar.
She’s recruited by Sir James to infiltrate the Mata Hari Dance and Spy School in West Berlin and learn all she can about a Soviet spymaster named Le Chiffre (ORSON WELLES) and his organization. Mata arrives by cab from London and greets two old friends of her mother—Frau Hoffner (ANNA QUAYLE), who was Mata Hari’s dance teacher and who now runs the spy school, and Polo (RONNIE CORBETT), Hoffner’s diminutive assistant whose faulty pacemaker keeps him perpetually nervous.
Using her considerable feminine charm, Mata worms her way into Polo’s confidence and learns that Le Chiffre is preparing to raise currency by selling off his unusual collection of compromising photographs. The auction will be conducted at the spy school that very evening by one of Le Chiffre’s associates (VLADEK SHEYBAL).
During the frenetic auction for American, British, Russian, and Chinese military men, Mata sneaks into the projection booth and steals the box of slides, dumping them in a toilet. She then escapes from the school with the help of her cabdriver, Carlton Towers (BERNARD CRIBBINS) of the Foreign Office. Back in London, she’s kidnapped by a spaceship and taken to the Monte Carlo hideaway of Dr. Noah (WOODY ALLEN), who is planning world conquest with a thousand robot duplicates—some of whom will take over the duties of the world’s political leaders.