BOND, SIR JAMES
Retired British Secret Service agent portrayed by David Niven in the 1967 Casino Royale spoof. In this undisguised parody, which has nothing to do with any of Ian Fleming‘s original books, Sir James’s heyday was during World War I when spying was an art form. Stealthy secretive agents were forced to use their wits and courage rather than the supersonic gadgets of the modern world that Sir James disdains.
In his prime, Bond was the top agent in the world. What caused his downfall? The woman he loved dearly—Mata Hari, the famous World War I spy who was working for the Germans. When duty called, Bond lured her across the Spanish frontier into France, where she was arrested and later put before a firing squad.
Now retired to private life in rural England, a stuttering and melancholy Sir James spends most of his time playing Debussy on the piano; watering his rose garden, which includes a rare black rose; standing on his head; and cleansing his intestines with royal jelly.
When he refuses to help M (JOHN HUSTON) stop a mysterious plot that is killing dozens of Allied agents throughout the world, the head of the British Secret Service orders his home destroyed. Bond’s beautiful rural mansion is then obliterated by mortar bombs—a barrage that also kills M.
Forced to accept the assignment, Sir James also assumes M’s job as the head of the British Secret Service. He eventually discovers twin evils—the nefarious activities of Soviet masterspy and super gambler Le Chiffre (ORSON WELLES) and the more deadly international scheme of Bond’s own nephew, Jimmy Bond (WOODY ALLEN). In reality, the latter is Dr. Noah, a fiend who plans to rule the world with an army of robots who are exact duplicates of every world leader.
Sir James Bond’s plan involves confusing his enemies by giving his name to dozens of agents. There are male Bonds and female Bonds. All roads eventually lead to the baccarat table in Monte Carlo, where agent James Bond/Evelyn Tremble (PETER SELLERS) beats Le Chiffre in a high-stakes card game.
When Mata Bond is kidnapped by Dr. Noah, Sir James arrives on the scene with the French foreign legion, American cowboys, American Indian paratroopers, and every British agent that can stand. The entire casino, however, is blown to pieces by Dr. Noah, who inadvertently self-destructs when the last tiny time pill explodes in the tablet-form nuclear bomb he swallowed.